Of course you’re not a glutton.
But every once in awhile a girl’s gotta eat a burrito as big as a baby.
“Ew, yuck,” my daughter winced on walking into Gordito’s Healthy Mexican Food in Greenwood last week. All over the entryway are photos quantifying Gordito’s favorite “big as a baby” descriptor for its burritos grandes. Turns out two large flour tortillas crammed with meat, beans, rice, lettuce, sour cream, guac, and chunky salsa is just a scoch smaller than a newborn human. Just look at the (sort of disturbing) pictures.
We had the regular, thank you. It was fine with smoky pork and healthy tasting vegetables.
I’m always writing about quality. Gordito’s got me thinking about restaurants known for their quantity. Huge portions were a big novelty deal in the ‘70s—who remembers the size of the burgers and desserts at the Great American Food & Beverage Company on Eastlake?—and remain in fashion in certain sorts of places.
Like steakhouses. Metropolitan Grill and Morton’s are two with extreme-sized side dishes. A Morton’s baked potato is about the size of a nuclear submarine.
As for pizza, there’s Northlake Tavern’s notorious cheese-loaded heavyweights; for burgers, Burger Madness’ 5-, 10-, or 12-patty monsters (which earn you prizes if you finish one in under 30 minutes); for anytime breakfast, Beth’s Café’s 12-egg omelets.
Then you can head to North Capitol Hill’s Kingfish Café for one of its plate-sized slices of red velvet layer cake—and repent tomorrow.