True story: I recently made a loved one happy. Despite the fact that she’s getting really fat and that she sometimes falls asleep standing up. Despite the fact that she hasn’t had a sauvignon blanc, the poison she usually picks, in about four months.

This is how I did it. I bought her a variety pack of Dry Soda and sent it to her house. A few days later: Surprise! A soda that tastes good.

You see Seattle, in other parts of the country and world, you can’t just run to the store and pick up a sixer of kumquat pop. That’s a privilege, not a right. And so when a with-child woman, living in her limited-beverage universe, receives a 12-pack of alcohol-free potables that actually taste good with food, she’s going to be pretty delighted.

It’s no revelation really, Dry Soda was founded by a pregnant lady who missed food-and-wine pairings.

Anyway, do it. It’s the best chance you have of getting the kid named after you.

(In other Seattle soda news: the Jones saga continues as a third party steps in to try to buy our popular-but-poor little pop company.)