Flipping the Bird

Elon Musk’s chaotic Twitter takeover included an endeavor to sell blue verification checkmarks for $8, leaving brands to deal with IRL fallout from digital impersonators. A fake account for Redmond-based Nintendo of America posted a pic of its iconic Italian plumber extending the middle finger.

Misinformation Mystery

Internet scuttlebutt of a serial killer on the loose in Seattle seemed to spread faster than one could say “fake news” this fall. A notable Instagram account with 157,000 followers at the time posted about the rumor, and concerned service industry vets passed word on to patrons. A University of Washington researcher later picked apart the report’s zero sources and dubious gossip network growth.

Ticket to Refund

Seattle’s parking enforcement officers have finally found a permanent spot—back with the Seattle Police Department—after a shift to the Department of Transportation under former mayor Jenny Durkan led to a massive mistake: a legal technicality that forced the city to nullify nearly $4.5 million in parking tickets.

Supermarket Sweep

Shareholders of grocery store chain Albertsons will have to wait a little longer for a $4 billion payout from a proposed merger with Kroger. Washington’s attorney general Bob Ferguson filed for a temporary restraining order until state regulators could review the deal. According to The Seattle Times, more than half of Seattle-area households frequently shop at a store owned by the two companies.

What a Hoot

“Warning Aggressive Owl” read signs posted by the Department of Fish and Wildlife at North SeaTac Park, where a hostile bird protecting its nest was reportedly harassing passersby. Walkers were encouraged to slowly wave their arms overhead, wear a hat or helmet, or deploy an umbrella if they had to cross paths with the feathered defender.  

Road Rank

It’s not your imagination: Washington is one of the worst states to drive in, at least according to personal finance website WalletHub. The Evergreen State came in 49th place in a 2023 ranking that accounted for traffic, infrastructure, safety, and the cost of owning and maintaining a vehicle. Hey, at least we beat Hawaii.

Buckling Down

Seattle is suing Kia and Hyundai because, as city attorney Ann Davison puts it, the car manufacturers “cut costs at the expense of their customers.” The lawsuit alleges that a lack of anti-theft technology in those vehicles is why the city’s seen a 363 percent increase in stolen Hyundais and a 503 percent surge in pilfered Kias from 2021 to 2022.

Sounders F-U

In January, the Sounders announced Providence as their main kit sponsor…and it did not go over well. Supporters decried the religiously affiliated health organization’s anti-abortion and anti-transgender stance—something at odds with the football club’s public overtures to the LGBTQ community. Some fans even went so far as to create their own custom “pro-choice” jerseys.

Night Streaking

A green fireball—brightly blazing space debris that explodes in the upper layers of Earth’s atmosphere—lit up dash cams and home security systems across Western Washington last January. As proud residents rushed to post their footage on Twitter, the American Meteor Society simply recorded it as Event 314-2023 in its fireball log. Way to make us feel special.

USPS SOS

Local porch pirates have apparently set sail for wider waters as a string of mail truck thefts last winter sent police officers scouring Beacon Hill and West Seattle for the boxy white vehicles. In all instances, the mail carriers were unharmed and the trucks were eventually recovered—sans a few packages.

Point Break In

On May 25, a group of wet suit–clad burglars broke into an occupied waterfront home in Yarrow Point at about 4am. They stole approximately $20,000 in cash from a safe, made their way onto kayaks, and paddled off into the darkness. Officers from the Clyde Hill Police Department said they believed the burglars were headed north on Lake Washington toward, of all places, Kirkland.

Doodle Dandy

Rebecca Wu, a Bellevue sixth grader, won the annual “Doodle for Google” competition, with her drawing called “My Sweetest Memories.” In addition to seeing her artwork on Google’s homepage for a day, she also won a $30,000 college scholarship and a $50,000 grant for her school. Wu says her winning entry was inspired by her sisters.

Fleeced?

In a battle between two brands at the heart of Seattle’s identity, Patagonia is suing Nordstrom for selling what it claims are counterfeit items at Rack stores. Patagonia claims that, after an 11-year partnership between the companies ended, Nordstrom Rack continued to sell thousands of mislabeled sweatshirts and T-shirts, often made from inferior materials.

The Next Apple

Horticulturalists from Washington State University have unveiled the state’s newest apple variant. Currently dubbed WA 64, it is a hybrid of two popular varieties: the Honeycrisp and the Cripps Pink (also known as the Pink Lady). The WA 64 is the product of years of development and will take still more years to hit your local farmers market, as trees get planted and mature. By then it will have a catchier name.

Cretaceous Race

Hundreds of vicious dinosaurs (people in large, inflatable costumes) descended on Emerald Downs racetrack for the T-Rex World Championship Races, which included both kid and grownup events. Amid the stumbling adult dinos, a trio sprinted to the front of the pack for a photo finish in the final contest. “I’ve been training for this all my life,” said winner Boto Rex (real name Ocean Kim) from atop the podium, his little dino arms hoisting a massive green trophy. 

Stepped in It

It’s a dirty job but somebody’s got to do it. Pooper Trooper, based in Lynnwood, filed suit against Scoop Troop, a Spokane company, for infringing on its brand identity and trademark. Both businesses specialize in dog waste removal, a surprisingly lucrative and competitive industry. The case was settled out of court when Scoop Troop agreed to change its name to Swoop Scoop—which they don’t believe will throw their customers for a loop. 

Game Misconduct

This one is honestly hard to explain. The Seattle Kraken found themselves mired in a social media controversy after embracing a subset of romance novel fans on TikTok who cast pro hockey players in steamy subplots as a form of fan fiction. The Kraken invited TikTok users to games and posted memes featuring their players—but then some folks got carried away. Felicia Wennberg, the wife of Kraken center Alex Wennberg, asked fans to stop posting “predatory” and sexualized messages. Influencers shot back. Maybe we all need some time in the penalty box to cool off. 

Roll Up

Hot dog. Chicken bake. Sashimi? The Issaquah Costco became the company’s first US location with its own in-house sushi counter featuring real live chefs cutting fish and assembling rolls for daily purchase. So far, fresh sushi hasn’t appeared in any other local Costcos.