Uh, hey, Russ—can we talk? We noticed you and Ciara moved on kinda fast. One minute, you're popping up your clothing line at U Village and dressing in floor-length Action Green sequins. The next, you're throwing it back in our face by going all in on orange with the entire fam. (OK, we admit, the kids look adorable.)

It hurts, Russ. But fine, if you want to talk about winning "three, four more Super Bowls" like that 2014 W (against your current team, may we add) meant nothing to you, then be that way.

We get to keep the house in Bellevue—all seven beds and 6.75 baths. Given the state of real estate out in the burbs nowadays, we understand why you've listed it for $36 million. That's a pretty healthy profit on the $6.7 million you originally bought it for back in 2015, but do you think you're going to get those same Lake Washington views and 80 feet of waterfront out in Denver? Does your new abode have a fancy wrought-iron spiral staircase and five fireplaces? You think you're going to find hand-carved cabinetry, marble columns, and a 2,000-bottle wine cellar in the Mile High City? 

That looks like a no. So we guess this is goodbye, Russ. 

Hopefully the next owner of the home decides to stay a bit longer than you. Where are MacKenzie Scott and Sue Bird living these days?

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