The Salish Lodge is hosting a five-course port dinner on Wednesday, March 30, featuring ports from Taylor’s, a 300-year-old port maker from that classic port-making region, the Douro Valley.

But Jessica, you might ask, when considering whether to sign up for the $125, five-course, Portuguese-themed meal, isn’t a port dinner a little…dangerous? Won’t I end up telling the strangers seated next to me that I love them?

The answer—given the fortified wine’s legendary, but not really exaggerated, abilities to inebriate—is yes. The only solution is to book a room at the hotel and make a mini-vacation out of it. And don’t worry about those strangers. They love you back.

The dinner begins at 7:30 in the Falls Terrace, there is a reception at 6:30.

Here’s what you’ll drink: Croft Pink Port, Fonseca Porto Terra Bella Reserva Organic NV, Taylor Fladgate Tawny Port 20 Year Old, Taylor Fladgate Late Bottled Vintage Port 2005, Taylor Fladgate Late Bottled Vintage Port 2005, Taylor Fladgate Porto Vintage Quinta Vargellas 2008.

Here’s what you’ll eat: Hors d’oeuvres (torta, smoked sturgeon, brandade fritters) at the reception, then the five-course meal: hard-cider venison backstrap, hazelnut-crusted diver scallops, port-braised short ribs with sweet mascarpone polenta and carrots, a caramelized banana tartlet, and, finally, a selection of local cheeses.

Call Salish to reserve.