1. The Aloof Instagrammer

Takes impeccably framed photos that show off new hairdo just so; has no idea who is playing this weekend. 

2. The Pack Leader

You’ve never had as many friends in your lifetime as he’s managed to assemble, all in subtly matching shorts- and-polo combos.

3. The Lost Tourist

What was supposed to be a nice afternoon walk to the Space Needle has since turned into a family of four hypnotized by Shabazz Palaces.

4. The Hanger-On

Works in accounts receivable these days; wonders why no one’s complimenting him on his Mudhoney T-shirt.

5. The Vinyl Collector

Likes every band’s earlier album, without exception; complains about the venue’s acoustic integrity.

6. The Confused Dancer

Gently sways to the punk band then tries to start a mosh pit at the folk concert.

7. The Beer Bro

Never leaves the beer garden; keeps letting the band know how much he wants them to play some Skynyrd.