BACK IN OCTOBER, we ran a contest for Seattle Met and Culture Fiend readers: Send us the one question you’d ask Rainn Wilson—Seattle native and star of NBC’s The Office—if you had the chance to meet him, and you could win two tickets to see Wilson and his costar Craig Robinson (aka Darryl) at the Paramount Theatre. We got a range of responses, from the serious (“What was the most character-shaping moment of your childhood?”) to the existential (“What’s the best part about being Rainn Wilson?”)—and lots of the not-so-serious (“Can I pet your hair?”). We figured we had comedians in the house, so we might as well stick to what they do best. Find Wilson and Robinson’s responses to the winning questions below.


WINNER: What is the profit margin of beet farms?
Wilson: Most sugar comes from beets—sugar beets. They’re extremely profitable. One beet seed? How much does a beet seed run ya? A penny? How much does a beet cost you at the store? Like, 79 cents? You do the math. Literally, you do the math right now.

RUNNER-UP: If Angela and Kelly were playing ping pong on The Office, who would win, and why?
Robinson: Angela, because Kelly wouldn’t be able to focus long enough on it without texting.

RUNNER-UP: Would you rather have tentacles for arms, or be permanently attached to a pogo stick?
Wilson: I’d rather have tentacles for arms, because basically I’d be like a superhero and I could fight crime.
Robinson: Tentacles have suction too, right? You could climb walls. I’m gonna go with tentacles. You could slap the shit out of someone and run away.
Wilson: Yeah, you know the whole tapping someone on the shoulder trick? You could do that from a block away.