1. Try to avoid claiming a huge, family-size booth to yourself. Exception: Before 8:45am a commuter may take up a whole bench. (They get there early so they can catch a few more z’s.)
2. Do: Find a nice cozy seat. Don’t: Sit directly next to a stranger when there are plenty of open spots. (It’s creepy.)
3. Observe how those in front of you scan their tickets—the bar code goes down and away—to get through the gate to board. Repeat.
4. Catching up on the phone? Great! But speak as if the people next to you can hear your awkward, personal conversation. Because they can.
5. Yes, get some fresh air on deck! But please, for the love of Poseidon, don’t hold the doors open when it’s freezing outside. Why must we all suffer?
6. Unless you’re Yo-Yo Ma, don’t play music. Actually, even then, maybe reconsider.
7. We believe the children are the future. But per the ferry’s announcements, running around is a safety no-no. That goes for grown-up kids too.
8. Purses and bags don’t deserve a seat until the boat has taken off. Especially in tight areas like the cafeteria—the only place riders can drink their alcoholic beverage of choice.
9. If you drove on, check that your motion-activated car alarm is disabled (or the captain will request you do so when it’s reverberating off the car deck’s steel walls).
10. Don’t leave your trash or food crumbles on seats. (We don’t have to explain why, do we?)