FOOTBALL, AS SPORTS-CLICHÉ spouters say, is a game of inches. But the off-season? In the Seahawks’ case, it was a full-contact fight for headlines best measured in texts, tweets, and blood-alcohol content.
Aaron Curry
$30 million
Guaranteed amount Wake Forest University linebacker Aaron Curry said he’d accept if perennial loser Detroit Lions made him the first overall pick in the 2009 draft, a deal he discussed with Detroit’s GM via text message.
4th
Overall pick that the Seahawks eventually used to draft Curry, after the Lions declined to choose him.
$34 million
Guaranteed amount that Curry signed with Seattle for.
80 million
Texts Curry can afford to send Detroit’s GM with that additional $4 million to say, "Yo, thnx 4 not picking me!"
Jim Mora
14,411
Vertical feet new coach Jim Mora climbed in his fundraising trek up Mount Rainier in July.
12
People in Mora’s climbing party, which included NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, whom Mora personally invited.
10,000
Altitude, in feet, at which a human’s mental and physical alertness can begin to decline.
10,004
Altitude, in feet, at which one can only assume Goodell decided it would be a good idea to reinstate former Atlanta Falcon and convicted dog killer Michael Vick.
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T.J. Houshmandzadez
10
Rank of free-agent pickup T.J. Houshmandzadeh’s among wide receivers in the recently released Madden NFL 10, which prompted him to boycott the game in July.
1
Houshmandzadeh’s half-serious, self-proclaimed world ranking among those who play Madden NFL.
192
Record number of points for largest margin of victory in Madden NFL 09, held by gamer Patrick Scott Paterson, who challenged Houshmandzadeh to lift his boycott and play him for the title of Madden NFL world champion.
762 to 1
Rough odds that Houshmandzadeh will accept Patterson’s challenge, given that, you know, he’s busy playing the real thing.
Owen Schmitt
.161
Second-year fullback Owen Schmitt’s blood-alcohol concentration when he was pulled over near Auburn in June on suspicion of drunk driving.
14
Beers that Schmitt [whose college nickname was the Runaway Beer Truck] would have had to drink over a four-hour period, based on his weight, to reach that BAC.
12,000
Beers that a real runaway beer truck can carry.
197.553
Schmitt’s BAC if he’d consumed 12,000 beers in four hours.
Matt Hasselbeck
12,559
People, as of August 31, who follow quarterback Matt Hasselbeck [@MatthewHass008] on Twitter
1 out of 9
Frequency with which Hasselbeck tweeted this summer about his kids, his car, or his shoes.
0
Everyman musings on Hasselbeck will be permitted to post from the sidelines, now that the NFL has banned in-game tweeting.
1
Number of Hasselbeck’s followers [namely, us] who are devastated he won’t be able to offer on-field analysis of how his socks fit.
