[caption id="attachment_7634" align="alignright" width="315" caption="These colors don't run. Or write DNC checks."][/caption]

For the record, Obama and I are still fighting. Obama has made a mockery of our same sex love.  It's all Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movies and cuddling in private and then filing anti-gay marriage briefs in public.  Cake and Eat It Too Alert!  And I am not one of those jilted lovers who torches beds or replaces creamer with rat poison.  Oh no.  Murdering lovers is so 1990s.  I hit people where it counts: The pocketbook.

I have been working the phones to get my gay brethren to pull out of the DNC's LGBT "Pride" fundraiser next week.  Power Gays:  Don't you dare show up to that event with its Absolut vodka drinks, thumping techno, 10,000 square foot spa and all the splashy amenities meant to impress us rich and powerful gays.  Don't you do it, Melissa Etheridge!  You better stay home KD Lang if you know what's good for you.

In addition, just because I am totally evil, I made a little 'anonymous' phone call to PETA.  Oh yea.  Remember how you swatted that fly during your CNBC interview, Obama?  Do you?!  Well that's animal execution, sucka.  Gay activists and animal activists are now both upset at you.  I hope I ruined your weekend like you ruined my life!

Oh, and Obama:  If you're reading this?  Make up sex isn't going to make it all better or erase what you've done.  And by make up sex, I mean including same sex unions in the next Census.  Yawn. Nice try.