News
Obamas in the Muthafuckin' London Hizz-ouse
Woot! Woot! Feel that heavy bass coming from London, y'all? The Obamas are getting all up in Britian's grill (insert glow sticks and rave music)! Woot!
[caption id="attachment_4192" align="alignright" width="360" caption="18 out of 20 G-20 attendees think global recession is hilarious"]
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The Obamas are concluding their whirlwind tour of London and it's turning out to be the reverse of the British invasion of Beatlemania. Everyone is going berserk.
Michelle, last month's enemy of Britian, is once again stirring things up with her recent (gasp!) touching of the Queen! Doesn't she know that you are to NEVER touch the Queen of England ? Oh the agony. Oh the shame. The First Vamp is breaking all sorts of rules with the establishment. First, she scandalized the country when she returned the bust of Winston Churchill (how DARE you, Michelle!) and now this. CNN is calling it a 'gaffe' (again, Eat Shit, CNN!) and media all over the world are stunned at the exchange. Did the Queen instigate the touch? Did Michelle linger? Why don't black people understand white people protocol? Jesus. I think at least 1000 tight-assed British snobs spontaneously combusted from the scandal.
Michelle then took a dump on the floor of Buckingham Palace, spit on Princess Diana's grave and moved on to Elizabeth Garrett Anderson Language School, a school located in an 'impoverished part of London'. There, girls screamed and cried when the First Lady addressed the school. And apparently, the girls at the school were so moving, that Michelle got choked up, sending England into a 2nd fit of O-insanity. What. the. fuck. is. happening? So much for concern over our 'special relationship' souring with England.
Onto Mr. Obama. How much can one man do in one day in London when the agenda is to stop the globe from sliding into a depression? Answer: a shit ton apparently. Like $1.2 trillion worth of shit. Shit that will mostly go to the International Monetary Fund, of course. But don't you worry - it sounds like a lot but there are new oversight protections on executive pay, hedge funds and tax havens. Phew!
Clearly, this was more theater than a work session. This was Obama's first debut on the national stage and while most of the world has not followed in the footsteps of the US in terms of their own recovery (hi deficit spending!), Obama was slated to dominate many of the discussions and negotiations at the G-20. And he did.
Coming into the G-20, there was immense pressure from Europe to create a 'robust' international regulatory agency that would oversee hedge funds and other financial institutions - including American institutions. France threatened to take their ball and walk out of G-20 if such an agency weren't established and empowered. Magic Obama convinced France and Germany to go the way of transparency (welcome back Campaign Message 2008!) and a system of 'early risk warnings' for banks that seemed to do the trick. Obama also shot a rainbow out his ass and bewitched crybabies France and China to agree on regulating tax havens. Oh snap! France just got charmed, Obama-style.
But the most fascinating result of the G20 summit is the new role the IMF now has on the world stage. No longer will it be the bank of last resort or the place where bankrupting nations go for assistance when it's too late. Rather, the IMF just got beefed up and became the International Nutcracker - a place where it will proactively prevent the downward economic spiral by watchdoging it.
The net result of the summit: Obama gets high marks and markets respond very positively across the globe. Score one for the Obamas World Tour.
[caption id="attachment_4192" align="alignright" width="360" caption="18 out of 20 G-20 attendees think global recession is hilarious"]
[/caption]The Obamas are concluding their whirlwind tour of London and it's turning out to be the reverse of the British invasion of Beatlemania. Everyone is going berserk.
Michelle, last month's enemy of Britian, is once again stirring things up with her recent (gasp!) touching of the Queen! Doesn't she know that you are to NEVER touch the Queen of England ? Oh the agony. Oh the shame. The First Vamp is breaking all sorts of rules with the establishment. First, she scandalized the country when she returned the bust of Winston Churchill (how DARE you, Michelle!) and now this. CNN is calling it a 'gaffe' (again, Eat Shit, CNN!) and media all over the world are stunned at the exchange. Did the Queen instigate the touch? Did Michelle linger? Why don't black people understand white people protocol? Jesus. I think at least 1000 tight-assed British snobs spontaneously combusted from the scandal.
Michelle then took a dump on the floor of Buckingham Palace, spit on Princess Diana's grave and moved on to Elizabeth Garrett Anderson Language School, a school located in an 'impoverished part of London'. There, girls screamed and cried when the First Lady addressed the school. And apparently, the girls at the school were so moving, that Michelle got choked up, sending England into a 2nd fit of O-insanity. What. the. fuck. is. happening? So much for concern over our 'special relationship' souring with England.
Onto Mr. Obama. How much can one man do in one day in London when the agenda is to stop the globe from sliding into a depression? Answer: a shit ton apparently. Like $1.2 trillion worth of shit. Shit that will mostly go to the International Monetary Fund, of course. But don't you worry - it sounds like a lot but there are new oversight protections on executive pay, hedge funds and tax havens. Phew!
Clearly, this was more theater than a work session. This was Obama's first debut on the national stage and while most of the world has not followed in the footsteps of the US in terms of their own recovery (hi deficit spending!), Obama was slated to dominate many of the discussions and negotiations at the G-20. And he did.
Coming into the G-20, there was immense pressure from Europe to create a 'robust' international regulatory agency that would oversee hedge funds and other financial institutions - including American institutions. France threatened to take their ball and walk out of G-20 if such an agency weren't established and empowered. Magic Obama convinced France and Germany to go the way of transparency (welcome back Campaign Message 2008!) and a system of 'early risk warnings' for banks that seemed to do the trick. Obama also shot a rainbow out his ass and bewitched crybabies France and China to agree on regulating tax havens. Oh snap! France just got charmed, Obama-style.
But the most fascinating result of the G20 summit is the new role the IMF now has on the world stage. No longer will it be the bank of last resort or the place where bankrupting nations go for assistance when it's too late. Rather, the IMF just got beefed up and became the International Nutcracker - a place where it will proactively prevent the downward economic spiral by watchdoging it.
The net result of the summit: Obama gets high marks and markets respond very positively across the globe. Score one for the Obamas World Tour.
