Taste Test: Mouthing Off About Toothpaste

We searched the city for some of the most interesting toothpaste flavors and had our brave panel of four “experts” try them all, rating each on taste and texture. We make no promises on its effectiveness, but cupcake toothpaste sure is delicious.

By Amanda Zurita December 19, 2012 Published in the January 2013 issue of Seattle Met


Weleda Salt Toothpaste ($8)
Sugarpill Apothecary,

AndyHorrible beyond measure. It’s too chemically. 
Allecia: Not bad, but it doesn’t feel right to rub a bunch of salt on my teeth and call it dental hygiene. 
Warner: Not good at all. It tastes like gum does once you’ve chewed out the sugar.
Abby: It’s really salty.


Marvis Cinnamon Toothpaste ($12)
Barneys New York, 

AndyThis one has a punch to it. It’s intense and lights up your mouth. Kissably clean.
Allecia: Strong! Good if you like cinnamon, I guess.
Warner: This is definitely the best tasting.
Abby: Too spicy.


Accoutrements Cupcake Toothpaste ($5)
Archie McPhee, 

 AndyI feel like it would eventually give you bad breath.
Allecia: It’s sweet and pleasant to taste, but no way in hell can my dentist think this is okay.
Warner: It tastes like the exact mix of a cupcake and toothpaste.
Abby: This tastes like cupcakes and sprinkles. I really like it. [Takes another taste] Where did you buy it?


Desert Essence Natural Tea Tree Oil Toothpaste in Mint ($6)
PCC Natural Markets, 

AndyI would use this; it’s powerful and makes me feel sensual.
Allecia: This tastes like something hippies use to wash their face.
Warner: It tastes thick. But it’s definitely a lot of tea tree taste.
Abby: It just tastes like mint.


Jason Nutrismile Orange, Cinnamon, and Mint Toothpaste ($6)
PCC Natural Markets, 

AndyIt’s not kissable and wouldn’t last long enough for a makeout session.
Allecia: Holiday appropriate.
Warner: It’s like orange tea, and it really feels like fall. I’d brush with it in the fall or at least have it in my bathroom to smell it.
Abby: After you rinse out with water, it tastes really sweet.


Accoutrements Bacon Toothpaste ($5)
Archie McPhee,

 AndyIt’s kind of just pasty.
Allecia: I don’t taste bacon. I don’t taste anything.
Warner: It’s actually not bad. It smells smoky, but I was expecting it to taste more like bacon—if you didn’t tell me this was bacon toothpaste, I wouldn’t know.
Abby: I don’t taste it. It smells like bacon though...kind of strange.


Tom’s Propolis and Myrrh Gingermint Toothpaste ($5)
PCC Natural Markets, 

AndyDisgusting. It’s like when I put too much ginger in my juicer.
Allecia: Weird. It’s like something you would use to clean the sink.
Warner: It’s not bad, but that ginger is definitely strong. 
Abby: Like gingerbread cookies but a little spicier, like that pickled ginger at the sushi restaurants.


Trader Joe’s Antiplaque Toothpaste with Fennel, Propolis, and Myrrh ($2.29)
Trader Joe’s,

AndyIt doesn’t leave you with a clean mouth feel. It’s not bad, but for date night...not even close.
Allecia: Actually quite pleasant, like a grown-up mint.
Warner: It has the aftertaste of eating a licorice jellybean.
Abby: Ew. It tastes like black licorice, and I only like red.

Published: January 2013

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