I was dragged to the movie Valentine’s Day by a posse of smitten tweeners (oooooh Taylor Lautner!!!!!!), and while they were lamenting the fact that the buff werewolf did not in fact take off his shirt…the restaurant critic was noticing something else.

(Alright, alright…the restaurant critic was a little bit bummed about the shirt thing too. Anyway.)

The movie took place in LA, land of restaurants, and a few recognizably West Coast trends were satisfyingly skewered, from waiters who recite every detail of every special to dinner guests who don’t bother to RSVP their hosts.

But the best was the Valentine’s Day dinner Topher Grace and Anne Hathaway endured in a crowded LA restaurant. If it wasn’t a communal table it was a string of two-tops shoved so close as to seem like one—and obliterate any semblance of intimacy. On the most intimate restaurant day of the year.

“Dude, stop drinking my water!” said the diner next to Grace, and I had to chuckle with recognition. Hear that Tavolata? Cascina Spinasse? Herbfarm?

Seeing the forced-community trend lampooned on the big screen didn’t quite make up for Lautner’s pesky modesty. But it almost did.