Slush Advisory

How to Build a Seattle Snowman

Constructing a classic sculpture in this town is not child’s play.

By Allison Williams December 18, 2018 Published in the January/February 2019 issue of Seattle Met

Image: Rami Niemi

Step 1

Score unblemished snow, all 3/4-inches of it. Fend off snow usurpers with No Parking signs from the nearest Seattle construction project. Earn bonus points for snowmanning on Alki Beach.

Step 2

Roll. The National Weather Service predicts a weak El Niño this winter, and that could mean a helping of wet snow—which sticks together nicely. But expect a wet log dotted with lawn debris instead of a pretty cotton-ball sphere; this is reality, not a Family Circus cartoon.

Step 3

Stack. The classic form is a three-ball tower, but gluey Seattle snow may result in a triangle shape. The world’s tallest snowman topped 122 feet, which would require approximately 30 years' worth of Emerald City snow, so be like the city sports teams and aspire to lovable modesty, not record-breaking feats.

Step 4

Accessorize. Snag a single rainbow carrot from the Central Co-op produce section. Procure one old-timey cap from the head of a Ballard bartender (tip well and he won’t notice) and match to any Sounders scarf found in a light rail car after 10pm. Crumbled bits of viaduct can be used as eyes or buttons; score vintage copper pipe for snowman limbs with on-trend industrial chic.

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