There’s a surprise inside! It’s a bill from the U.S. government!

 Last week, a Seattle couple crossing the Canada–U.S. border was faced with a horrible realization: The six chocolate Kinder eggs they'd purchased in Vancouver may have cost them $2,500 each. While Kinder Surprise eggs—those German candies with tacky toys inside—are good, they're not that good.

Turns out that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration considers Kinder Surprise eggs adulterated food (which we Americans avoid at all costs) and the surprise toys a choking hazard. U.S. Customs and Border Protection seized around 60,000 of the eggs last year, according to the "Canadian Press."At this border stop, Seattle man Chris Sweeney and his husband were threatened with a $2,500 fine per choking hazard; that's $15,000 total for, let's face it, kinda crappy souvenirs. Fortunately, the two were let off with a warning after two hours of waiting.

So now you know to shove all your Kinder chocolate down your throat before you hit return customs. Do you know what else isn't allowed back in from Canada?

Chug all your absinthe before coming back from Canada (the CBP says "the term 'absinthe' cannot stand alone on the label; and the artwork and/or graphics cannot project images of hallucinogenic, psychotropic or mind-altering effects."). Don't clam on Vancouver Island before heading home; mollusks are also prohibited. Products containing dog and car fur can amass fines of up to $10,000 and are also kind of gross. And if you're bringing in a "nonhuman primate trophy," well, check with the CDC. Human primate trophies, check with the FBI.

If you're not throwing a Moulin Rouge-themed party or playing "The Most Dangerous Game," you may simply care about toting wine back and forth. The rules are as follows: You can bring 1.5 liters of wine into Canada and bring one liter back, provided you're of age and stayed in Canada for 48 hours or more. Hauling any more back may mean paying a duty.

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