Local blogger, designer, and all-around style gal Tina Witherspoon joins us on Thursdays to recap NBC’s attempt at a runway project.

Episode 5: Fashion StarVED. I hope this doesn’t come as a shock to any of you, but now that our Seattle designers have been cut from the show, this noise ain’t worth watching. I thought I’d give it one final chance this week. If you couldn’t stomach it, here’s what you missed:

- The buyers make the contestants team up to create a window display of their designs, and then completely ignore that aspect of the challenge during judging. Whatev.

- Barbara calls Nikki difficult and wants to bash her in the head. Nicole Richie tells Nikki her chimi-changas are on fire. John Varvatos wears slightly-smaller-yet-still-dark sunglasses.

- H&M buys a dress for thousands of dollars and sells it for—you guessed it—$19.99. The producers push the odd Luciana and Ronnie love story, despite the fact that he’s obv her gay BFF.

- Ross makes a vest that only Jessica Simpson and a hotel clerk would wear, but Macy’s buys it.

- Orly wrestles with lace, then she takes her top off. Her hideous shorts make Nicole Richie create yet another new word, "wedgina," as in, "Your model had a wedgina!"

- Sarah I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing Parrot gets her fifth consecutive buy for a really simple jacket and tries to act humble on stage.

- Richie advises Edmond not to choose hooker fabric, but somehow he still manages to offend. She then creates a nickname for Nzimiro, dubbing him "Zee-mimi."

- Kara’s masculine shirt-dress is adorned with a colorful crotch panel but the buyers aren’t buying it.

Of the bottom three, the mentors save Barbara because "the world needs a little more crazy." Barbara does not take it as a compliment but she keeps her trap shut. The buyers remind Orly that her design sucked, but ultimately decide that Edmond is not their Fashion Star.

Thanks for sticking with me folks, but you’re going to have to sit through the rest of these shenanigans on your own. I will make a wild-ass guess that the final showdown will be between Kara and Sarah. The ultimate title of Fashion Star will probably go to Kara, since all of Sarah’s designs have been bought on the cheap. Somebody please watch the finale and let me know if my predictions come true.

Until then, in the words of Elle MacPherson, "It’s never too hot to be cool."