Software and soft drinks.

Typically, I’m not surprised—or, frankly, super interested— when I get notices from marketing companies who’ve turned their attention to the engaged population, but in the case of both technology and web apps and soft drinks, well, I had to at least figure out what the story was.

Just Chill is the opposite of Red Bull. Where the former is meant to rev you up, the latter is supposed to reduce stress and increase focus, and the company reckons this might be especially helpful for overwhelmed soon-to-be brides and grooms. A tag line on the website reads, "FINALLY … a drink to make you more LAIDBACK." (sic)

How does the California-based beverage maker support this claim? Ingredients like L-theanine, lemongrass, and ginseng (also in Red Bull-type drinks, in relatively small quantities) are said to support stress relief while B-vitamins, magnesium, and calcium are intended to replenish your system and relax your muscles.

There is no natural ingredient or plant-based supplement for fixing your seating chart or finally choosing your first dance song, sorry.

We got a little scientific (a little) around here yesterday and tested out the four gratis cans of chill juice that came in the mail along with The Chill Group’s wedding pitch.

"I was feeling a little drowsy before I drank it and I feel less drowsy now, but that’s not necessarily what they are advertising," said one test subject. "And it’s probably the effect of getting up and walking to get it from the fridge."

True enough. Hard to beat good old fashioned physical movement. "It tasted good, though," he allowed. "It does have a lot of vitamins and stuff, which can’t be bad. I feel like stress is such a psychological thing, however, that it could very easily have a placebo effect, which is just as good as actually being effective if it makes people less stressed."

True enough, too. Immediately after I downed the 12 ounce serving (it does go down easy; heckuva lot better tasting than most energy drinks—not that I uh … drink a lot of energy drinks), I found myself intently staring at the overdue document on my computer screen. I sat up straight in my chair, I tweaked a few commas. I was ready to be ready; I wanted Just Chill to hook me up with some laid-back brilliance. But in truth I spent the rest of the afternoon rearranging the same 217 words and feeling like my editor was sitting on my shoulder.

Other test subjects agreed on the pleasant drinkability of the stuff—one said, "I would drink it again. I thought it had just the right amount of carbonation that was nice on the palate and it wasn’t overly sweet, which I was afraid of. Usually when I see the word ‘tropical’ I think of fruit punch, but this had a more natural flavor."

That same tester, however, went on to add this: "As I type this, my leg is bobbing up and down, and I only had one cup of coffee today." Just Jittery?

So, nah, I wouldn’t count on a soft drink to tether you to your wedding planning to-do list or to cut your anxiety before or during the big day. What you need can’t really be put in a can. Eat a balanced diet, avoid caffeine, get plenty of sleep, and hire the best vendors you can find.