1. Needs the cash to help his metal band’s new album, Black Christmas, meet December 25 release date.
2. Runs his workshop out of a Fremont coworking space.
3. Wears a green suit and promises to get Christmas off coal by 2030.
4. Sells reindeer bacon at the Ballard farmers market.
5. Thinks anything north of the Ship Canal qualifies as the North Pole.
6. Opening new craft cocktail bar, Dasher & Blitzen.
7. Really just some guy who hasn’t shaved since 2009.