So Herman Cain has launched a new web site for female supporters to give testimonials---it's not an open forum, by the way, and it reads as if it's vetted by the campaign---defending him from charges that he cheated on his wife for 13 years and sexually harassed or assaulted three different women.

In keeping with Cain's M.O. so far, most of the testimonials consist of attacks on the "husbandless," "scheming" women whose baseless accusations are obviously an attempt to put themselves in the spotlight and extract money from the candidate (because women love nothing more than getting dragged through the mud by powerful national political figures). [pullquote]"Dear Mrs. Cain, don’t pay attention to these pathetic husbandless women who are jealous of women like you in happy long-term marriages. These vindictive women can’t find a husband or keep one." --- One more "Woman for Cain"[/pullquote]

Seriously, though: Cain hopes to win support from women with testimonials like this one, from a woman in Missouri:

I am so turned off by these women who get their 5 minutes of fame - they set women back a century. They are an insult to sucessful [sic] working women. ... Its [sic] disgusting these women have taken advantage of you. They are the ones with questionable character, not you. It also appears that your wife is a true lady and has the character to see through all of these allegations to what they are - attempts to keep you from running because you are a threat to the status quo.

Or this one, from a supporter in California:

Dear Mrs. Cain, don’t pay attention to these pathetic husbandless women who are jealous of women like you in happy long-term marriages. These vindictive women can’t find a husband or keep one. They are like stalkers who try to latch on to any man who shows a bit of kindness or attention to them. When these unstable women come out of the woodwork to make accusations about Herman just say, ‘Honey, get a life, I believe my husband.’

Or this one, from a woman in Florida:

Mrs. Cain, I'm so very sorry for the pain you've had to suffer at the hands of these seriously troubled women and those behind them. Such an elegant lady as you should never have to deal with such scum. My prayers are with you and Mr. Cain. I have no doubt Herman Cain is the person we need to restore our country to its God-blessed glory!

Or this one, from a woman in Georgia:

Now because of scheming women that can be swayed by money, attention or whatever else the reason may be, your reputation is at stake - not theirs as it should be. I do not believe these women are victims...I believe you are.

Or this one, from a woman in Texas:

Dear Mr. Cain, I am a 66 year old female architect in the State of Texas, and want to simply say... as a REAL woman I do not believe for one second any of these "women" that have crawled out from under a rock somewhere to defame you and bring pain to you and your family. They are pitiful creatures at the very least, and evil at the most. Isn't it convenient that they have suddenly become offended by supposed advances by you now after all these years, my goodness, poor babies, how have they been able to bare up under the pain for all these oh so many years... LIARS, LIARS, LIARS...GO GET THEM HERMAN AND PLEASE DO NOT QUIT!!

Or this one, from a woman in Long Beach, CA:

I also hope you pursue a slander, libel, defamation of character suit against this moneygrubbing, lying woman. Granted, she has no $, but it would send a strong message.

Or this beauty, from a woman in San Antonio, TX:

don't even listen to all this women ,that they don't have nothing good to say about you... they they are money hungry... and women like this, Don't care or don't have no "SHAME to go on TV...to use lies, for money...somebody has been paying this women. They make me sick to my stomach.....they need to start digging a hole on the ground n till they rich china'

So, for those following along at home: Herman Cain has been accused of sexually harassing or assaulting three women, including one who says he forced her head into his crotch and shoved his hand up her dress. He has also been accused of carrying on an affair with another woman for 13 years. His response is to create a forum where women with no direct knowledge of any of the cases can slander the accusers as "moneygrubbing," attention-hungry, bitter, lonely old shrews---the classic refuge of sexual harassers and anyone who wants to silence women's voices.

Keep it classy, Herman. Keep it classy.