The Onion-flavored Seattle Salmon has a message for Seattle liberals. The Blue Angels are awesome.

Please pardon the French, but here's the lead from their funny story:

The high performance jets of the US Navy Blue Angels give Seattle’s pussies much to complain about. “Well they’re loud,” said Wallingford pussy Ron Matthews, “and I don’t think we should have a symbol of American imperialism at the center of a summer celebration.” Matthews, a soft-dick pastry chef, succinctly described in one sentence what more long-winded pussies drone on about for God knows how many fucking hours.

Seattle is known for a population capable of complaining at length on any subject. Seattle-ites can complain about – for example – salting the roads during snow storms, or not salting those same roads with equal emotional investment.

And believe it or not, our very own Erica C. Barnett totally agrees.