Amanda Hesser dreams of Bellevue.

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5. Oyster king Jon Rowley comes in at number five this week because, well, gross.

Bad fish smell in restaurant reflects poorly on chef and restaurant but also on Seattle. Encountered twice recently. No excuse. #fail

4. Surly Gourmand offered up several super stoned-sounding tweets to the Twittersphere. Our favorite:

In my magical edible land, every woman has a blueberry muffin top.

3. That joke you wanted to make about the rice with human genes? Soul Pancake already made it (on March 11, but we’re making an exception because we arrived a little late to the Soul Pancake party).

Soylent White Rice is made out of people!

2. Seattle’s own Cakespy documents a journey east.

Massachusetts: thank you for advertising Dunkin’ Donuts & Plymouth Rock on the same signpost. Very apropos.

1. But the most memorable tweet this week came from Amanda Hesser. She’s a food columnist for the New York Times, for crying out loud, and yet:

Wish I’d quit my job, driven to Bellevue WA, and begged for a job with Nathan Myhrvold 5 years ago.

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