A photo from the gnarly Nathan’s hot dog eating competition.

I’m kind of in deadline hell at the moment, but a press release I just received inspired me to pull myself out of the murky mental lair where I have been lurking. It told me that Tigertail will be hosting a hot dog eating competition June 22. The entrance fee is $10, proceeds will go to PAWS. “Dogs for dogs if you will,” reads the press release. Okay, I will. Because I’ve never seen a competitive eating competition, and I think I’d like to. Because I can be a little piggy from time to time but I can’t imagine ever, ever, eating more than one hot dog. Okay, maybe two. And finally, well, because I want to see if this thing is hardcore enough to inspire competitors to dip the buns in water in order to ease the voyage from mouth to stomach, like they do in big-time comp eating competitions. Barf me. I can’t wait.

As long as we’re inside the Tigertail press release, I’ll let you know too that they’re going to do a third Iron Bartender competition, this one between Mark Noyes and Matt Kramer—two tenders linked by a former employer, the super-scary Teatro Zinzanni. That will go down on June 14th, at 6pm.

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