To say that I don’t know much about sports is to severely understate the situation. But I can Google, so I know this: Tomorrow, Gonzaga will play North Carolina as part of the March Madness basketball tournament. The game starts at 6:57 sharp.

In honor of the fact that as of right now there are only 16 teams remaining in the competition—the so-called “Sweet 16"—I thought I’d offer up 16 (sweet) venues for getting your beer on while you watch the tall men in tank tops. Because while I may not know sports, I do know a thing or two about the sort of bar where the food comes in plastic red baskets and the Miller Light flows freely.

Let’s begin with the gay bars, shall we?

1. Basketball-loving lesbians will head to Bottleneck Lounge. The fun little Mad Valley haunt is serving special, one-night-only pulled pork sliders in honor of the occasion. I don’t know what the sliders have to do with basketball, but I’m sure they are delicious. Homosexual men, meanwhile, will be watching the showdown at 2. The Elite on Capitol Hill.

Up on 15th, beloved neighborhood dive 3. The Canterbury will be firing up the big screen for the occasion. With crowds that tend towards the friendly and the rowdy, Canterbury can also offer the sort of attractions that don’t fit inside the rectangular frame of an LCD screen. So can 4. Ballard Loft, 5. The Pig N Whistle, 6. The Pub at Piper Creek, and the 7. Roanoke Park Tavern.

Then you’ve got your hardcore, all-out, Sporty McSporterson bars—the memorabilia-bedecked places that make you feel like you’ve left Seattle and ended up in some suburb of Chicago. There’s the aptly named 8. Sport, an intensely game-focused hangout across from the Space Needle. Like the 9. Village Pub in Magnolia, Sport boasts a TV at every table, so you won’t miss a moment of the match. Also rich in televisions: 10. The Spectator in Queen Anne, and 11. Belltown’s Spitfire Grill. Finally in this category, odd little Pioneer Square stadium spillover bar 12. Sluggers is an amicable enough spot to wile away an evening, but call first. Owners seem to open and close as the spirit moves them.

Wallingforders, check out 13. Goldies on 45th or head over the bridge to 14. Eastlake Bar & Grill, which also has, littleknownfact, really good cocktails. For tasty beer, there’s always the game room at the 15. Beveridge Place Pub in West Seattle or 16. Tap House Grill, which also has a location in Bellevue.

So go forth, Gonzaga fans and other basketball-loving people. Here’s hoping the night goes your way.