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Indulge in the hilarious holiday horrors of Sugar Plum Gary at 18th and Union.

Image: Kevin Harris

Thru Dec 24
A(n Improvised) Christmas Carol 
In case you think Charles Dickens got a few details wrong, Unexpected Productions offers you the chance to help craft a better (or at least funnier) version of the holiday classic via A(n Improvised) Christmas Carol. The tale of Ebenezer Scrooge gets an on-the-spot punch-up as audience suggestions guide performers to jostle around the legendary miser in all sorts of amusing ways. As if his Christmas Eve wasn’t tough enough already. Market Theater, $15

Thru Jan 1
After last week’s fire, Woodland Park Zoo could use visitors to it’s delightful Christmas light spectacular, Wildlights, now more than ever. (Not that it was a particularly tough sell.) The family-friendly activities include indoor powder play in the Snowmazium, the chance to hang out with some reindeer, an on-site Santa (for photo procrastinators), and (of course) the luminous wonder of over 600,000 light bulbs lighting up the zoo’s pathways. Woodland Park Zoo, $10

Mon, Dec 19
The Music of A Charlie Brown Christmas
If the commercialization and secularism of the Christmas season has got you down in the dumps, receive a healthy reminder of the true meaning of the holiday with the Royal Room’s salute to A Charlie Brown Christmas. Singing along to Vince Guaraldi’s iconic jazz score for the 1965 TV special is sure to brighten spirits this year. The Royal Room, $5

Dec 20–22
Punk Rock Flea Market
Need to do some last minute holiday shopping, but want to stay clear of that sheen of corporate commercialism? Then the Punk Rock Flea Market is for you. The three-night event at V2 on Capitol Hill features revelry, booze, live music, and vendors welcome to sell anything at all (to quote the organizers, it’ll feature “stuff they made, stuff they purchased, stuff they stole. Big things, small things, clothes, music, crafts, art, dog sweaters, skateboards, nipple rings, barbie dolls, zippo lighters, playing cards with girlie photos on the back, Russian military paraphernalia, spring rolls, and untold riches of punk rock paraphernalia.”). The Punk Rock Flea Market also serves as the final event in the V2 space before it’s torn down. Might as well go out with a bang. V2, $1

Wed, Dec 21 
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Tis the season for terrible Christmas movies. West of Lenin hosts the newest installment in its “Up Your Chimney” film series: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. In this 1964 one-star sci-fi cult classic, Martians abduct Santa to provide toys for their children only to have their plot foiled by Voldar, a diabolical Martian out for Santa’s blood. A holiday staple for eccentric oddballs, this film has truly earned its place on lists of the worst movies ever made. All those who arrive in jolly red suits and elfish attire may purchase tickets for half price. West of Lenin, $5

Fri, Dec 23 
Manatee Commune on Ice
Manatee Commune (aka Grant Eadie) is a unique soul in the Pacific Northwest electronic music scene: a one-man EDM band mixing smooth, easy-listening vibes live guitar, drums, and complex layers of synths. His latest venture, Manatee Commune on Ice, attempts to turn the Neptune Theatre winter wonderland for a night of art installations, projection mapping, and music. With guest spots by David B, Yppah, and Saint Claire, you're holidays just won't be complete until you’ve danced in this simulated snow globe to some killer electronic tunes. Neptune Theatre, $14–$16

Fri & Sat, Dec 23 & 24
Sugar Plum Gary
When comedian Emmett Montgomery dons his red Santa footie pajamas, he transforms into Sugar Plum Gary. While Gary may appear innocent enough, he actually serves as a harbinger of hilarious holiday horrors. The hour-long one-man show takes an audience into the twisted psyche of Gary, a Santa expert who’s... seen things. With the show propelled by audience inquires to Gary’s lone prompt—“Does anyone have a question about Christmas?“—each performance at the new 18th and Union arts space offers up a unique path to the darkest Christmas laughs imaginable. 18th and Union, $10–$15

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