Gillian Williams and Michael Tisdale in Seattle Repertory Theatre’s Venus in Fur, 2014.

Valentine’s Day can undoubtedly be one of the most intimidating little squares on your wall calendar. February 14 looks deceptively like February 13 and 15, but if your significant other is the type to circle that daunting day with a big red heart and you haven’t already bought those plane tickets to Capri, then you know that you’re in trouble. But because we at Seattle Met love you so much, we’ll cough up a little Seattle Valentine’s Day insider knowledge. 

For the Fancy-Footed

Best Bet: When the Mark Morris Dance Group hits the Seattle stage this Valentine’s, we think you should take your lady. Here’s why: The group will be performing one of its signature pieces, Brahms’s romantic New Love Song Waltzes, gorgeously paying homage to love. Go the extra mile and print out the libretto translations (what those opera singers are actually saying). Study up and when the time is right, quote her the fifth verse of the Love Song Waltzes: “You’re a goddess. You’re divine!” Or, you know, just play it cool and enjoy the show. Feb 14-16, Paramount Theatre, $26-$71.

Other choices: If watching from the audience isn’t your thing, then try the Be My Tango Valentine dance party, featuring chocolate, roses, performances, and tango lessons. Dress to impress and you’ll sweep her off her feet with one of the sexiest dance styles out there. Feb 14 at 8:30, DanceWorks Studio, $15.

For the Libations Lover

Best Bet: Sure, you can buy a bottle of wine. But trust us, that’s the bare minimum; you need to pair it with some seriously romantic atmosphere. Make your dollars count with Valentine’s Day Cocktails at the Conservatory in starlit Volunteer Park, complete with artisanal spirits from The Hardware Distillery and delicious appetizers from local eateries. Feb 14 at 5, Volunteer Park Conservatory, $25.

Other choices: For another gorgeous night under the stars, try the slightly more mellow Wine and Chocolate, where you can enjoy a relaxed evening with champagne, luscious chocolate covered strawberries, and decadent truffles all while you stroll through the romantically lit gardens. Feb 14 at 5:30, W.W. Seymour Botanical Conservatory, $20.

For the Funny Valentine

Best Bet: Psychologists have found that a mate's sense of humor correlates with their attractiveness. In other words, (good) jokes can make us more desirable. Put all the scientific knowledge to use this Valentine's Day by taking your partner to the hilarious Unexpected Productions Comedy of Love improv show. Feb 14 & 15 at 7, Market Theatre, $15.

Other choices: If you’re feeling particularly daring, head over to Fremont to watch good-hearted Seattlelite run in their bedroom-best in Cupid’s Undie Run. Plus, it’s for a good cause: all funds raised go to the Children’s Tumor Foundation. Grab some coffee, a blanket, and gawk at the panty party from the sidelines. Run starts at the Ballroom in Fremont at Feb 15 at 12pm. Check online for route and donation info.

For the Theatrical at Heart

Best Bet: For a night of erotic, intriguing, and hilarious power play, treat your significant other to David Ives’ Venus in Fur, in which an audition for an adaptation of Venus in Fur unexpectedly escalates into an electrifying and uncertain game of cat and mouse between actress and playwright. To make the evening extra special, take advantage of the scrumptious hors d’oeuvres and drinks at the theater’s pre-show Valentine’s Day party. Feb 14 at 9pm, Seattle Repertory Theatre, $30–60; $75 for Valentine’s Day package.

Other choices: Olivia and George thought that they had been married for years. Brian and Dinah hoped that they could get engaged. But when the lovely and absentminded Mr. Pim stops in for a friendly visit, one offhand remark upends the entire household. This recently rediscovered comedy, Mr. Pim Passes By, from Winnie-the-Pooh writer A.A. Milne is packed with the perfect enchanting and dry humor for a Valentine’s Day. Thru Mar 1, Taproot Theatre, $20–$40.

For the Artistic Soul Mate

Best Bet: Painter Amanda Manitach once described her works as “watery” and “sexy.” Manitach’s first solo show of intriguingly ethereal, pale portraits explores the sometimes confusing, flitting links between the sensual, macabre, and beautiful. Thru Mar 1, Bryan Ohno Gallery, free.

Other choices: Today the word “boudoir” brings thoughts of pin-up girls. But historically the term simply referred to a lady’s private dressing room, a historic symbol of femininity and style. The Tacoma Museum of Glass offers this more subtle interpretation with Bohemian Boudoir, featuring gorgeous antique perfume bottles and bedroom accessories from Czechoslovakia. Thru May 1, Tacoma Museum of Glass, $12.

Another option for your artistic mate is A/NT Gallery’s current exhibit Eros: Expressions of Desire, a group show from local artists in which adult relationships of all kinds (yes, erotic too) are explored through a variety of mediums. For the guy who can’t tell a Cézanne from a Degas, this gallery is an accessible (read: free) way to treat your date to some local culture. Thru Feb 23, A/NT Gallery, free.