CONCERT

$1,600

Highest ticket price on 
StubHub for floor seats for Jay-Z and Kanye West’s Watch the Throne show in Tacoma. It’s good to be 
the king(s). 
Dec 16, Tacoma Dome, tacomadome.org

JAZZ

“I don’t have a particularly good ear 
for music. 
I’m a very poor musician, 
like a Sunday 
tennis player.”—Woody Allen sets the bar low in The Village Voice in 2010. Judge for yourself when the filmmaker (a clarinetist since his teens) and his New Orleans Jazz Band play the Paramount. Dec 26, The Paramount Theatre, stgpresents.org

FILM

1 Hour, 56 Minutes

The amount of time it took record-crushing Swiss climber Ueli Steck to scale the Matterhorn. Also about how quickly the Banff Mountain Film Festival sells out in Seattle each year. Lucky for us, the adventure sport film fest runs in Olympia and Tacoma, too. Nov 30–Dec 6, mountaineers.org

THEATER

Bad Santa

The lovable schmendriks behind Tractor Tavern’s annual Holiday Bizarre: A Jewish Christmas! have turned their unholy Christmas parody into a fully formed musical this year, complete with equity actors and a klezmer/hip-hop/mariachi score. Now at ACT, Wisemen follows three lawyers—Goldberg, Frankenstein, and Murray—hired to represent Joseph in a paternity trial over Mary’s pregnancy. An anti-Semitic Santa, gangsta-rapping Easter Bunny, and God preside, and the pope gets his own slow jam. “It’s very absurdist,” says cocreator Eli Rosenblatt. You don’t say. Dec 13–22, ACT Theatre, acttheatre.org

DANCE

Outside the Box

Mark Morris Dance Group’s Festival Dance makes its Seattle debut, followed by a reprisal of 2004’s study in geometry, Violet Cavern (pictured), with live music by improv jazz trio the Bad Plus. Dec 1–3, The Moore Theatre, stgpresents.org

FAMILY

Tumble Bee

Considering that Portland folk star Laura Veirs sang about mermaids and moonbeams before she gave birth, a children’s album seems an obvious postpartum project. She takes froggy a-courtin’ on Tumble Bee, a spirited new collection of folk covers borrowed from Woody Guthrie and Peggy Seeger, African American lullabies and Civil War–era fiddle tunes. Don’t try to resist “Prairie Lullaby” when she plays an all-ages show at the Vera Project; the gentle, swaying song (with a bit of yodeling) could rock any Scrooge to sleep. Dec 3, The Vera Project, theveraproject.org