Elaine Pagels
The religion scholar and Reading Judas author speaks at Benaroya Hall. Don’t greet her with a kiss on the cheek. (Apr 30)

Hunter Handsfield
The UW doctor won an award for his STD research. The competition felt burned.

Tom Perez
The U.S. Assistant Attorney General encouraged Washington Middle School students to reject bullying. School bullies resisted giving him a wedgie.

Mark Arthur
The Seattle attorney is suing student loan creditor Sallie Mae. Next up, annoying dorm RAs.

Howard Schultz
The Starbucks CEO greenlit the sale of giant 31-ounce iced coffees. No word as to whether the cafes will be providing additional restrooms.

Scott Williams
The former pro figure skater did a Champions on Ice routine to Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Legions of balding grunge hangers-on wept into their flannels.

Christina Choi
We’re happy her upcoming Nettletown will serve Northwest-foraged ingredients, despite our aversion to restaurants with names that end in “town.”

David Shor
The Broadway producer is developing Sleepless in Seattle: The Musical, securing the ubiquity of “________less in Seattle” headlines forever.

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