Call it Cash for Clunkers – that’s what the world’s largest health club has tagged it.

Bring your run-down skateboard, your dust-covered, half-buried stationary bike, your still-in-the-box Six Minute Abs thingie to either Pro Sports Club location (yep, the one on the Eastside is officially the biggest on the planet; the Eastlake version is merely large) and get a truly significant portion of your membership fee chopped.

In Bellevue, you’ll save $1,000 on the $1,250 fee for single enrollment and $1,750 on the $2,250 family membership. In Seattle, knock $350 bucks off the regular $400 charge.

Push, shove, carry, or haul your clunky equipment in and know that wherever possible, the Pro Sports folks will donate the Thigh Master apparatus to an organization that can make use of it.

And between you, me, and those 32lbs of long-winter, frozen-pizza junk in your trunk: The fitness team isn’t picky about defining “equipment.” Show that you’re serious about signing up and that you’ve got something to play along with (an unwanted tennis racket would totally do the trick) and you’re practically ready for bikini season already.

How long do you have to take advantage of this stimulus plan? Almost three months. The promotion ends on August 31.

Oh, and one more word of advice: Once you’ve made good use of your membership – such good use, that is, that your muscles feel like pounded pavement – go see hardcore Shiatsu practitioner Dereck Olsen at the club’s spa. I’m speaking from experience here. Dude lives and breathes shiatsu, and there is no better match for your all-out workouts.