Shade Index
7 Very Seattle Reasons I Can’t Come to Your Party
Let's get this no-show on the road.

Image: Danny Hellman
1. I-5 at rush hour? It’s easier to make new friends.
2. You’re not the only one hosting a pet’s birthday party tonight.
3. Did you feel that? Was that the Big One? I think that was the Big One.
4. There’d be nowhere to park my kayak.
5. If I have to explain the meaning of my tattoo to one more person...
6. "Keg of homebrew kombucha!" on the invitation was the opposite of a selling point.
7. I…er…there’s, um—weather?