Image: Danny Hellman

1. I-5 at rush hour? It’s easier to make new friends.

2. You’re not the only one hosting a pet’s birthday party tonight.

3. Did you feel that? Was that the Big One? I think that was the Big One.

4. There’d be nowhere to park my kayak.

5. If I have to explain the meaning of my tattoo to one more person...

6. "Keg of homebrew kombucha!" on the invitation was the opposite of a selling point.

7. I…er…there’s, um—weather?

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