OMG! Swine Flu! Panic!

LA Galaxy Preview

Sounders, 4th place (7-5-8, 29 pts)

vs LA Galaxy, 2nd place (7-3-10, 31 pts)

Last meeting, 5-10-09, 1-1 tie

Quick personal travel story: Last month, on day four in Cuba, two people in our group came down with swine flu and everyone was quarantined! The fun was short-lived, though, as the (paranoid) Cuban health folks realized that the night before, one guy had drunk a lot of Cuban beer, and the other guy smoked a lot of Cuban cigarettes. No one had the flu at all.

How is this relevant to the Sounders ?  Because LA Galaxy/US National star Landon Donovan caught swine flu while preparing in Miami for last Wednesday’s WC qualifier against Mexico . He went on to assist in the ninth minute, but couldn’t stop Miguel Sabah’s game-winner in the 82nd. We thought it was because he was r unning around in 7200-foot circles dodging cups of urine thrown by 105,000 pissed-off Mexicanos , but he actually had swine flu the entire time!

Holy shit!

I mean, in originally assessing our match-up against Galaxy , I pondered that the Sounders needed divine intervention to prevent an embarrassing defeat , but I didn't want LD to get swine flu.

I'm not that mean.

Besides, as much as I hate to admit it, as much as I still reel from humiliating non-performance in Germany in '06, Donovan has almost redeemed himself .  I would venture to say he's returned to being the fourth-ish most important player on the national team (Howard, Hejduk, Onyewu... Donovan).

I still think he's smarmy and annoying, but I would never wish him to contract swine flu.  Also, for the record, I would never pelt him with a plastic bag of my own urine (or someone else's for that matter) , nor would I circle his hotel all night long honking my horn , cursing his mother and blasting Los Tigres del Norte .

To further my pain even more, I could almost say the same thing about the Galaxy's David Beckham. For the better part of ten years, the boy has been nothing but fodder for British tabloids. He ha d a couple impressive goals and a small fraction of the English-speaking world—the fraction that provides the rest of us with soccer news— went gaga.



Soccer's Vince Vaughn


He's the Vince Vaughn of the soccer world. (Where did he come from? I don't know. Does he have talent? Not really. Why is he on the cover of all the tabloids ? I haven't a fucking idea).

He's not Messi.  Nor Zidane. Nor Ronaldo. Or Ronaldinho. Nor the other Ronaldo. Nor Figo.

But, for as much as he disgusts me, I have to admit (and I hate myself for admitting it): Becks has done wonders for the Galaxy, perhaps even saved MLS.

Back at the beginning of the season, when Becks used his fame to negotiate an off-season gig with AC Milan and Donovan was called up regularly and often for the Nats , LA wallowed in misery. They lost and tied , had no leadership, and got stuck in the back of the pack.  Then in July their mighty ( and expensive) saviors return ed. V oila!  LA rides a six-game unbeaten streak into second plac e.

Becks and Lands public ly spat, make up , put their money to work and bring a team back from the dead . Just to turn that dagger a little more, Becks' Adventure in America paved the way for other rusty Big Names to make an easy buck in the relatively lax MLS , like Freddie and Cuautehmoc. Warranted or not, their fame brings publicity, which brings people, who bring money and helped MLS grow.

In the meantime, the Sounders, without Hurtado, are officially jinxed.  With Gonzalez still breaking in his jersey, can Zach Scott, back from months on injury, fill the Colombian's shoes? (Speaking of Colombia, it's nice that Fredy is officially a Sounder , but we really need to get John off that "on loan from" list).

Just as important, how the hell can we get a fire started up front?  I've got two suggestions: LeToux, as I’ve demanded before , though he’s been inexplicably absent for a few weeks. That leaves us Sana Nyassi. From game one, every time he subs on, he set s the field ablaze. I think now we should start him up front because the other boys have been lacking considerably.

And that is the summary of this week’s socc-stacular: The Biggest Name in World Football and his trusty sidekick, American Boy Wonder, vs. the team with the jinxed D and headless O.