I DO TWO THINGS: I RAP AND PURR

Hip-hop duo Run the Jewels finally let the cat out of the bag last Friday night by dropping Meow the Jewels, the remix version of Run the Jewels 2 (2014's best hip-hop album) that uses cat sounds for the musical backing tracks. The record can be downloaded for free, and it's exactly as insane as it sounds. Even with the atypical feline palette, the songs are still highly listenable bangers. (It's the cat's meow! It's the cat's pajamas! This kitty wordplay is a cat-astrophe! I hope I have nine lives, because I'm going to have to kill myself for continuing this bit!) Physical copies of Meow the Jewels (including fur-colored vinyl) are also available for preorder, and all the money made via sales goes to charities benefiting the families of Michael Brown and Eric Garner.

THE TYCLONE

The Seahawks finally notched their first win of the season, dispatching the Chicago Bears 26-0 in their home opener on Sunday. With Kam Chancellor back against a Bears squad without their starting quarterback and #1 wide receiver, the Legion of Boom dominated. The Hawks forced the Bears to punt on all 10 possessions, aided by the fact that Bears head coach John Fox seems to get much more pleasure out of punting than give his team any remote chance of scoring (when he was the Denver Broncos head coach, I nicknamed him John Fox News—because no one was more conservative). Still, the Seahawks were only up 6-0 at half. But then the Bears had to kick off to Tyler Lockett. The rookie standout took the ball 105 yards the other way for CenturyLink Field's first touchdown of the year, and it's astounding how effortless he made it look. The Tyclone looks more and more like the new Devin Hester with each passing game.

SEATTLE'S FINEST

Below is a video of Pearl Jam and Stephen Colbert covering Neil Young's "Rockin' in the Free World" on last Wednesday's The Late Show. If I need to say more than that to get you to watch it, your Seattle citizenship is (un)officially revoked.

THE FLAVOR OF THE SEASON

It's fall, y'all. And while the season's change now unfortunately means everything gets a pumpkin spiced version (see what horrors you have wrought, PSL?!?), we don't hate pumpkins themselves for their crushing ubiquity. In fact, this porcupine pal's pumpkin munching glee has our hearts aflutter for pumpkin patch trips, Halloween carvings, and our first slice of seasonal pie (h/t John Roderick).