Isaac Newton presents his Three Laws of Motion, thereby technically making him the founding member of the Physics.
July 8, 1947
Authorities report recovering a flying saucer in Roswell, New Mexico, but that’s merely a distraction so other UFOs can safely deposit Shabazz Palaces and THEESatisfaction in Seattle.
April 2, 1995
After being drawn to a woman for her sparkling personality despite her noticeable lack of derriere, Sir Mix-a-Lot retreats from the world in shame and wanders aimlessly across the country. The sojourn inspires his city namechecking single “Jump On It.”
June 15, 2002
Blue Scholars establish the Azul School. Courses include Seattle Socioeconomics, Group Dynamics (taught by professors emeritus the Emerald Street Boys), Cinematography in a Cinemetropolis, and Pho 101.
December 25, 2010
Seattle MC Grynch steals Christmas. Well, he doesn’t really steal Christmas, he just samples it.
January 20, 2033
After running a presidential campaign on a platform that “the debt ceiling can’t hold us,” Macklemore is sworn into office—as Ryan Lewis’s vice president. Because sometimes the tables turn.