Faux Real

Great (Fake) Moments in Seattle Hip-Hop History

As MOHAI opens its Legacy of Seattle Hip-Hop exhibit, we look at some less fact-checked moments that defined the scene.

By Seth Sommerfeld August 31, 2015 Published in the September 2015 issue of Seattle Met

Credit avi loud fcxzj0

The Legacy of Seattle Hip Hop
Sept 19–May 1 at the Museum of History and Industry

Photo: Avi Loud


Isaac Newton presents his Three Laws of Motion, thereby technically making him the founding member of the Physics.

July 8, 1947

Authorities report recovering a flying saucer in Roswell, New Mexico, but that’s merely a distraction so other UFOs can safely deposit Shabazz Palaces and THEESatisfaction in Seattle.

April 2, 1995

After being drawn to a woman for her sparkling personality despite her noticeable lack of derriere, Sir Mix-a-Lot retreats from the world in shame and wanders aimlessly across the country. The sojourn inspires his city namechecking single “Jump On It.”

June 15, 2002

Blue Scholars establish the Azul School. Courses include Seattle Socioeconomics, Group Dynamics (taught by professors emeritus the Emerald Street Boys), Cinematography in a Cinemetropolis, and Pho 101.

December 25, 2010

Seattle MC Grynch steals Christmas. Well, he doesn’t really steal Christmas, he just samples it.

January 20, 2033

After running a presidential campaign on a platform that “the debt ceiling can’t hold us,” Macklemore is sworn into office—as Ryan Lewis’s vice president. Because sometimes the tables turn.

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