Ichiro Traded to the Yankees
Ichiro Suzuki, Mariners 2001–2012
After 12 seasons with the Mariners, Ichiro Suzuki was traded to the Yankees today for two minor-league pitchers and “cash considerations.” Translation: Seattle’s most popular baseball player— a man with a sushi roll named after him at Safeco —will suit up in pinstripes gray (ouch) in the visitor’s clubhouse tonight (ugh) for the first of three Mariners-Yankees games this week. If you didn’t already hate the Yankees, you do now.
It also begs a few important questions:
Who will fill the right-field seats if not Ichiro’s faithful fans?
Will they rename or retire the Ichiroll? The Ackley tuna roll doesn’t sound appetizing.
Can season-ticket holders get their money back?
Will Macklemore turn this into a rap?
Perhaps Death Cab for Cutie front man Ben Gibbard said it best on Twitter. We’ll miss you, Ichiro.
I wrote this song a few years ago. Today seems like the best day to share it with you. Thank you so much, Ichiro.
