The lovable schmendriks behind Tractor Tavern’s annual Holiday Bizarre: A Jewish Christmas! have turned their unholy Christmas parody into a fully formed musical this year, complete with equity actors and a klezmer/hip-hop/mariachi score. Opening December 13 at ACT, Wisemen follows three lawyers—Goldberg, Frankenstein, and Murray—hired to represent Joseph in a paternity trial over Mary’s pregnancy. An anti-Semitic Santa, gangsta-rapping Easter Bunny, and God preside, and the pope gets his own slow jam. “It’s very absurdist,” says cocreator Eli Rosenblatt. You don’t say.

Wisemen is at ACT Theatre Dec 13–22.

Read on for more of our top holiday season picks.