Originally published November 2011. Grande comedienne Joan Rivers, who recently was rumored to be dead, is scheduled to perform here this Friday—the same night as her protege/rival Kathy Griffin. But like a scene out of Rivers’s documentary A Piece of Work—when the Queen of Mean bemoans, “No Vegas, no giant club dates. Kathy Griffin has taken all those”—Griffin gets the plum gig at the Paramount Theatre while Rivers headlines in Tacoma. Why hasn’t anyone realized the potential of a double bill? Imagine the possibilities: Griffin calls Rivers a “barely living legend,” Rivers bitch-slaps Griffin, and then they team up to mock everyone in the audience wearing fleece.

Dueling divas are just one reason Seattle’s pretty hilarious this month. Read on for more.

Joan Rivers plays the Pantages Theater at Tacoma’s Broadway Center for the Performing Arts on Nov 4; Kathy Griffin plays the Paramount Theatre Nov 4 & 5.