Here’s what you’ve missed of this year’s Seattle International Comedy Competition: Over the past two weeks, 32 standup comedians from the US and Canada (hence the "international") have been refining their five-minute shtick all over Western Washington. They play Port Townsend, Auburn, Whidbey Island, and Bellingham in the same week; the jokes get riskier, and the audience gets whiter. Stories about race, religion, relationships, and scary clowns dominated the night I was a judge in Auburn, though I think I was the only one who laughed at the Lost gag. And if you hadn’t heard, this judging process is thorough. If you want to play along at one of the upcoming semifinal bouts, you’ll need a score sheet divided into seven categories and a beer.

On a scale of 1–10 (10 = Louis CK, 1 = Hugh Grant), rate each comedian on:

Stage presence (charisma)
Technique (how did they present their comedy? do any impressions? song and dance?)
Delivery (timing, pacing, mumbling)
Audience rapport (how did they handle hecklers?)
Audience response (did the crowd go wild?)
Material (smart or blue?)
Judge’s response (I don’t know what it is, but I loved/hated that guy)

The top scorers from the preliminaries will compete tonight at 8 at Comedy Underground in Seattle. My money’s on Eric Krug and Rick Kunkler.

Semifinalists +
Mike Baldwin (Kansas City)
John Beuhler (Vancouver)
Sam Demaris (Houston)
Patrick Keane (Los Angeles)
Eric Krug (Austin)
Rick Kunkler (Seattle/Los Angeles)
Xung Lam (Seattle)
Mark Normand (New York)
Rodney Sherwood (Seattle)
Will Weldon (Los Angeles)

+ What, no ladies? Blerg.

The 32nd Seattle International Comedy Competition runs thru Nov 27.