I had one goal when I went to ZomBCon on Saturday: Learn how to kill a zombie. It seemed like a reasonable demand, considering how many of the walking dead roamed Seattle this weekend—in town for their inaugural convention.
And if you’re going to study zombie slaying, you learn from the best: Bruce Campbell, legendary B-movie actor and star of Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead trilogy. He took the stage at Seattle Center Saturday afternoon; I had my notebook ready. Things started off well enough—Zombie Tools, a company out of Missoula, Montana that advertises weapons for surviving the apocalypse, presented Campbell with a custom machete “that won’t slide out of your hand when you slice gray zombie heads off.” The only catch? These serious blades cost serious cash—several hundred dollars. Zombie Tools ain’t fooling around.
On to survival strategy. Campbell invited two zombies and an “average-looking dude” to join him on stage; he then asked the zombies to demonstrate how they would bite Average-Looking Dude in a dark alley. A young zombie tackled the Dude to the ground and made a show of mauling his neck. Did Campbell step in and throw off the zombie in Evil Dead fashion? Not so much. He actually goaded the zombies for not attacking brutally enough, then spent the rest of the lecture answering fan questions:
How do you make the best zombie blood? Mix your corn syrup and red food dye with non-dairy creamer so it stays opaque when it dries, and add two drops of blue dye for the most realistic color.
What was your favorite movie you starred in? I’m old, don’t really remember anything anymore, and we are the suckers who pay to see his movies anyway.
When Campbell left the stage, I was no closer to successfully defending myself than when I left the house that morning. I would have been better off asking George Romero.
Want to know what else happened at ZomBCon? View our slideshow above; photos by Anne Dixon.