Make no mistake, I love a good crap movie. But—and I know this is a fine line—I said "a good crap movie." So here’s a depressing press release:
"Following its record smashing opening in late June, the worldwide hit Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and now 9th biggest grossing film of all time, closed out the summer movie season with over $400 million earned at the U.S. box office.
‘From its opening weekend, Transformers was defined by audiences as the must-see movie of the season,’ said Paramount Pictures Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Brad Grey. ‘Combined with the successes of Star Trek and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, the summer of 2009 was a great one for Paramount’s franchises.’
The summer of 2009 may have been a great one for Paramount’s franchises, Mr. Grey, but Star Trek Babies was only cute. I skipped G.I. Joe; the aroma of that disaster kept me away despite my slim hope for a Channing Tatum shower scene. And Transformers: Revenge of Michael Bay continues to give me nightmares about the hope for the future of our planet—not because I fear living in a world menaced by robots but because I fear living in a world that turned a crap movie about a world menaced by robots into the ninth highest-grossing film of all time.
Just had to get that off my chest.