In case you didn’t watch the December 30 telecast of the Kennedy Center Honors—and you didn’t, because that thing makes the Tony Awards look like a real ratings-grabber—I’ll relate what you missed. Just hear me out:

1) choreographer Twyla Tharp using body language (what else?) to communicate the fact that having to sit through your own tribute is a living hell

2) some ancient blues musicians who played in honor of actor Morgan Freeman (even he must have been worried whether a few of them made it safely off the stage and back to the home)

3) a salute to country legend George Jones introduced by First Lady Bush with a speech that included the sentiment, "Of course, ah’ve got mah own George…" (that George, by the way, spent the entire proceedings slouching in his seat like he was waiting for someone to set a bowl on Cheetos on his chest)

4) a bodacious Beyonce rising from fog underneath the stage to the delight of homosexuals everywhere —I know my neighbors heard a little gasp—to deliver a very careful (she’s always working, that one) but undeniably immaculate version of "The Way We Were" for Barbra Streisand

5) poor Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend having to hear the unlikely likes of Joss Stone shimmy through "My Generation" in a silver mini

until 6) Bettye LaVette came on and stole the show. And how.

LaVette’s been through town a few times—Bumbershoot and a knockout show at Jazz Alley last year—but no matter how often you hear her she’s still able to rip your guts out. The lady walked onstage at the Kennedy Center and tore through "Love, Reign o’er Me" from The Who’s Quadrophenia with the unguarded intensity of someone begging for her life. Watch:

You can’t see it in the clip above, but at the end of the performance, a visibly impressed Babs turned to Townshend and appeared to mouth, "Who the hell was that?"

Oh: There was also a lovely rendition of "Somewhere" for Babs performed by Kelli O’Hara (crush-worthy Nellie Forbush in Intiman Theatre director Bartlett Sher’s Tony-winning South Pacific revival) and a hunka burning baritone named Nathan Gunn. He’ll be at Seattle Opera in 2010 for their Amelia world premiere:

Lucky Seattle Opera.