Let us guess. You can’t bring yourself to watch Fashion Star but you’re still curious about how the show’s Seattle contestants are faring? You’re curious about what Jessica Simpson could possibly add to the discussion? Local blogger, designer, and all-around style gal Tina Witherspoon joins us on Thursdays—for as long as she can stand it—to recap the show.

Cue the lights, blast the music… Snore. These recaps are going to get shorter because frankly, I’m getting bored.

We’re down to 12 designers, and there must be five extra minutes of airtime to fill because this week the show kicks off with a performance by one of the hottest bands…of 2010. LMFAO and Quest Crew ushers in episode three with that tired ‘Party Rock Anthem,’ and even they look bored. Elle MacPherson sports a ridiculously long runway-style fake ponytail and some sort of sarong.

Last week the buyers were interested in spring fashion; this week it’s summer. In the workroom we see Orly showing her printed fabrics to Nicole Richie. Nicole glances at them and says in her deadpan way, "It looks a little Grandpa Tony." Who’s Tony? Orly is on the verge of a crying jag.

Cut to Barbara selling her design ideas to Simpson and describing the color-blocked print that lives in her head before turning into a Saturday Night Live version of herself and telling the camera, "If the buyers don’t look at me this week I’m about to pull out a can of whoopass." Thanks for the warning.

Minutes later, Orly is crying (called it). Varvatos, who never takes off his sunglasses, is talking her off the ledge, and there is hugging.

As it turns out, Orly’s sheath dress is simple and classic (boring) with a contrast fabric on the waistband. Perfect…for Talbots. Varvatos calls it "fun and flirty," and Simpson, who has such discerning taste, is in love with all three colors. Orly gets an offer from Saks for $120k. Maybe now she’ll stop crying.

Barbara’s sleeveless shirtdress is interesting, but only because of the fabric. We’ve all seen the design hanging in…well, again, Talbots. Richie loses her mind, saying this was "an amazing job with the prints and the edgy details!" (What was she looking at?) Better get that can of whoopass ready, because Barbara gets no offers, and Ronnie strikes out as well.

Nikki works on a jumpsuit, Sarah designs a wrap dress, and Nzimiro talks about making shorts. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Maybe we should redefine the term ‘mentor.’ Richie tells Nzimiro that his fabrics are way too feminine and the print looks like curtains, then she tells him to go put on some cologne. Is that sexist?

The other mentors aren’t sold on the jumpsuit, but the always colorful and witty Simpson thinks Nzimiro’s collection looks like a "Hampton’s party in the pants." She loves everything, but it turns out she is right, because Sarah receives a $50k offer from H&M, Nikki receives a $50k offer from Macy’s despite the fit issues, and Nzimiro gets an offer for his shorts from H&M for $50k. They’d be better at Old Navy.

In the speed round—where the producers don’t think one group of designers merits air time—we see Luciana, Lisa, and Ross. Luciana and Lisa fail to get a buy, but Ross does exactly what the mentors tell him to do and gets an offer from Macy’s of $120k. For shorts. ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz.

Edmund, Kara, and Lizzie are the last group to present. Edmund makes a maxi dress; Lizzie worked on a jersey draped dress with heavy metal details, and Kara comes out of the closet with her tuxedo pant. Kara’s pants get an offer from Saks Fifth Avenue for $50k. Lizzie and Edmund receive no offers.

This week’s bottom three are Lizzie, Edmund, and Luciana. The mentors choose to save Edmund, and although I was crossing my fingers for Lizzie, the Macy’s reps say they are concerned she doesn’t have range. They cut her. It’s a bummer to have one of our hometown gals cut, but I admire Lizzie for sticking to her aesthetic, and something tells me she’ll be just fine post-Fashion Star.

We’ll close this week’s recap with the same quote MacPherson used to close the show: "See you next week America! And remember, it’s never too hot to be cool."