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FBI special agent Fox Mulder—or rather David Duchovny will be on assignment in Seattle in February. But he won’t be examining supernatural occurrences or even promoting his latest acting project. Instead he’s coming to sing. Duchovny and his band, which released the album Hell or Highwater in 2015, play the Crocodile on February 19. And just in case he has some time to kill pre-show, we’d appreciate it if Duchovny could investigate these local mysteries… 

What was the cause of the toxic blob rain in Oakville?

On August 7, 1994, clear goo fell from the sky south of Olympia, sickening those it touched. (One cat even died.) Some speculate it was jellyfish remains scattered by military ocean-bombing runs, but perhaps this was the first recorded act of meteorological magic by “The Rain King” (X-Files, season 6, episode 8).

What’s the true story behind Capitol Hill’s Mystery Soda Machine?

Seriously, who stocks the soda-dispensing relic on East John Street between Broadway and 10th Ave? For decades, the beat-up Coke machine has spat out an array of random beverages for believers with spare change. Could it be the work of aliens? Ghosts? An evil conglomerate of dentists? Maybe the Cigarette Smoking Man (boasting both nicotine and caffeine addictions)?

What really stopped Bertha’s drilling? 

Did the mega drill that’s tunneling along the waterfront really hit a steel groundwater testing pipe in December 2013, or was it sabotaged by mole people attempting to protect their subterranean homes?

Why do severed human feet keep washing up on Salish Sea coasts?

Since 2007, 16 feet have washed ashore on Washington and British Columbia beaches. Some have suggested they came from plane crash or tsunami victims, but could it be cannibals—like the residents of Dudley, Arkansas (X-Files, season 2, episode 24)—who happen to find feet too gamey to consume?

Will Duchovny cover Tacocat’s “Dana Katherine Scully”?

He damn well better.

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