The Perfect Party

Here’s who we’d invite if we could entertain this month’s most interesting visitors, locals, and newsmakers.

CHARLIE SHEEN

His one-man show is coming to Everett, promising “the real story from the warlock.” Spoiler: It turns out Charlie’s just a frustrated Dungeons and Dragons geek. (May 3)

TOM WILHELMSEN

Six years after quitting pro baseball and becoming a bartender, the onetime pitching phenom joined the Mariners this spring. “Anyone can serve drinks,” he said. “Driving fans to drink takes skill.”

EVAN JACOBS

In March the local programmer won a contest by creating an app that helps users search for eBay sales with Twitter. His prize was knowing he’d found a way to make money with Twitter before Twitter did.

BETTY WHITE

She filmed an ad for Woodland Park Zoo’s “More Wonder More Wild” fundraising campaign. It was either that or Mayor McGinn’s “More Blunder More Whining” reelection campaign.

VITALIY SULZHIK

Monster Energy drink makers say there is “no factual basis” for the Federal Way teen’s claim that he found a mouse in a can of their product. Said a spokesperson, “Mice are smart enough to stay away from this stuff.”

KEVIN ZELKO

The Mariners beer vendor says he’ll take your order via Twitter this season ( @Msbeervendor ). And if he isn’t pitching, Tom Wilhelmsen will deliver it.

See who else we’ve invited to the dinner table

Published: May 2011