The Perfect Party

Here’s who we’d invite
 if we could entertain
 this month’s most 
interesting visitors,
 locals, and newsmakers.

JACOB APPELBAUM

The Seattle-based WikiLeaks “hacktivist” was stopped and questioned by federal agents at Sea-Tac airport. “It was weird,” he said. “They wanted to know when we were going to reveal what planet Ichiro is really from.”

MICHELLE SEXTON

The naturopathic doctor and UW researcher wants to test medical marijuana sources to weed out impurities. In other news, UW students have begun volunteering for clinical trials at an alarming rate.

PHIL MOCEK

The local activist was acquitted of four charges after refusing to show his ID at a New Mexico airport. One of those charges was “being an insufferable line holder-upper.”

CHELSIE JORGENSEN

The Seattle Mist safety posed with other Lingerie Football League players in the February issue of Playboy. Fact-checking this story, by the way, was just awful.

CORY FITZNER

While sitting in for Regis Philbin on Live with Regis and Kelly, the 100.7 morning-show host admitted to shaving his chest. Hear that, Fitz? That’s the sound of a couple million women turning off their TVs in unison.

RACHEL THE PIG

Pike Place Market’s iconic bronze pig got hit by a taxi. “And here I thought I was doing the responsible thing by not trying to drive myself home from the bar,” she said.


See who else we’ve invited to the dinner table.