If you’re in Seattle this weekend, it’s hard not to attend Bumbershoot, given its one-size-fits-all assortment of music, art, comedy, and “spectacles” to check out at Seattle Center. And rumor has it the weather will actually be … no, I shouldn’t jinx it. Anyway, we’ve prepared a must-see list for every day of the festival, which we’ll roll out today and tomorrow. Since we know the main draw is the mainstage, where headliners Ray LaMontagne and the Pariah Dogs, Wiz Khalifa, and Hall and Oates will perform, we’ve strayed a little off the beaten path. Enjoy.

Comedy: Hari Kondabolu, Kyle Kinane, Anthony Jeselnik
We fell hard for Hari Kondabolu, a former Seattle immigrant rights organizer, after hearing his Vitamin Water stand-up routine (watch below). He’s also been compared to Richard Pryor and Lenny Bruce, so that ain’t too shabby. All three comics are Comedy Central approved. 2:45-3:45, Intiman Theatre. Also: 4:30 Sunday, 6:15 Monday.

Film: Best of SIFF Jury Award Winners
You know all those short films you missed when you were scrambling to see The Troll Hunter and The Future at this year’s Seattle International Film Festival? They best of them—The Eagleman Stag, Library of Dust, Deeper Than Yesterday, Time Freak—screen in one very satisfying hour. 4:30-5:30, 1 Reel Film Festival, SIFF Cinema.

Theater: Bonnie and the Robberie (Marya Sea Kaminski)
Kaminski, an uber-talented Seattle thespian who nearly made our heads explode with her star turn in Seattle Shakespeare Company’s Electra, previews a new show of rock covers, original songs, and monologues inspired by Bonnie and Clyde. 5-5:45pm, Theatre Puget Sound Stage, Center House Theatre. Also: 4pm Sunday.

Music: Shabazz Palaces
Frankly, Seattle’s rising hip-hop stars deserve a mainstage session this year, given the near-ecstatic response to their 2011 full-length debut of fuzzed-out space rap, Black Up. See Ishmael Butler (formerly of Digable Planets) and gang at Fisher Green stage and say you knew them when. 5:45-6:45, Fisher Green Stage.

Reading: Colin Meloy and Carson Ellis: Wildwood
You’re scrambling for something to fill the Harry Potter void—A Song of Ice and Fire, The Hunger Games, Twilight?!? Agggh. Consider Wildwood, the debut YA fantasy novel by the Decemberists’ front man/wordsmith and his wife, Ellis, a talented graphic designer and illustrator. We hear it reads a bit like the Narnia Chronicles; we hope Meloy does voices. 7-8, Words and Ideas Stage, Leo K. Theatre, Seattle Rep.

Music: Trombone Shorty and Orleans Avenue
If you haven’t seen this New Orleans jazz crew on Letterman or in our own Occidental Park, you’re missing out. Troy “Trombone Shorty” Andrews is a sexy-funky hybrid with the stage appeal of Usher and the horn skills of Louis. Expect it all: jazz standards, Afro-beat, Marvin Gaye, even AC/DC. 7:45-8:45, Mural Amphitheatre.
Alternative (same time, ack!): Little Dragon at 7:30 at Fisher Green Stage.

In between sets, wander over to the Free Yr Radio stage (all day, every day of Bumbershoot). KEXP, the Vera Project, and Toyota (woo!) have teamed up to bring in local bands for intimate concerts and interviews. Saturday’s schedule is:

Hot Bodies In Motion (Free Yr Radio exclusive performance) — 11:45am
Grand Hallway – 1:05pm
Pickwick – 2:35pm
Yuni in Taxco – 4:20pm
Campfire OK – 6:05pm
Scribes – 7:50pm
Note: Seapony, originally slated for 11:45am, is now playing Monday night at 7:50pm.

KeyArena mainstage (always a safe bet): Ray LaMontagne and the Pariah Dogs. 9:15-10:15.

Bumbershoot runs Sept 3-5 at Seattle Center.