The Perfect Party

Here’s who we’d invite if we could entertain this month’s most interesting visitors, locals, and newsmakers.

WILLIAM MARLER

The Seattle litigator climbed past the $500 million mark in lawsuits for food–borne illnesses such as E. coli. We’ll fake a stomach cramp.

PETER FACINELLI

“Dr. Carlisle Cullen” of the Twilight movies headlines at TwiCon, a convention for fans of the teen vampire saga. We hope there’s no sunshine in the forecast. (Westin Hotel, Jan 15—17)

THE LADIES OF READERGIRLZ.COM

The Seattle young–adult fiction writers’ collective got a nod from the National Book Awards in November—without penning a single teen vampire book.

MIKE MCGINN

When the mayor–elect takes office on January 4, he’ll inherit the nation’s worst traffic congestion. We’ll understand if he shows up late.

KATHY GRIFFIN

The self–deprecating comedian fires off a tirade about her life on the D–list. She’s an A–lister in our book. (Paramount Theatre, Jan 29 & 30)

EDGAR MARTINEZ

The longtime Mariner is on a roll to be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. If only longtime Mariner snack the Ichiroll could be inducted off the menu.

MIKE MEEHAN

The Seattle police captain left to become police chief in Berkeley, California. Capitol Hill wasn’t liberal enough.

JAMIE BOUDREAU

The mixologist pontificates on his potent potions at Night School, a course on the art and appreciation of cocktails. We hope there’s homework. (Sorrento Hotel, Jan 18)