The Perfect Party

Here's who we'd invite if we could entertain this month's most interesting visitors, locals, and newsmakers.

BILL GATES SR.

A friend claims Gates’s summer hit-and-run accident was the result of a “senior moment.” “But,” he said, “so was thinking that Washingtonians would vote for a state income tax.”

ANDREW FINK

The University of Puget Sound grad won a national book-collecting contest for his hoard of propaganda prose. His prize? An all-expenses-paid trip to Gitmo.

SYLVESTER CANN

The local Obama groupie convinced the prez to autograph his iPad. In other news, Nancy Pelosi will pay you to let her sign your Windows Kin.

HAL GRIFFITH

Pier 57’s owner is building a Ferris wheel on Seattle’s waterfront. The tunnel debate has become a circus, but this is taking it too far.

ARLENE WAGNER

Leavenworth’s Nutcracker Museum curator was the first guest on Conan O’Brien’s new show in November. His second guest, Mr. Peanut, was a no-show.

CHRISTIAN LANDER

The Stuff White People Like author is coming to Elliott Bay Book Company to read from his new book. It’s called Everything I Needed to Know for My Last Book, I Learned in Seattle. (Dec 7)