NERDGASM On Thursday I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in ecstasy and were suddenly squealing like kids on Christmas morning. The new trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens might be the most perfect hype-building clip ever: sleek, exciting, nostalgic, and appetite whetting without giving anything away. (If you haven’t already watched it a dozen…or 10 dozen…times by now, we probably could never be friends.) There’s so much joy for Star Wars fans to sink their teeth into: sand-covered Star Destroyer and X-Wing wreckage, burnt Darth Vader masks, Luke Skywalker voiceover, R2-D2, new ships and troopers, lightsabers, space battles, and Han Solo and Chewbacca (!!!). Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to figure out a way to hibernate until The Force Awakens opens on Christmas.
It’s GETTING HOT IN Herre I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. The bad news first: Outside of Félix Hernández, the Mariners seem to have forgotten how to pitch. The good news: Nelson Cruz, Nelson Cruz, Nelson Cruz. We knew the slugger would add some much-needed pop to the lineup, but what he’s doing right now is bonkers. Yesterday alone, he hit two home runs and drove in the game-winning run with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth, giving the Mariners an improbable and much needed 11 to 10 win. He’s currently on an eight-game hitting streak and has a MLB-leading eight home runs. That’s three HRs in front of the next closest player and as many or more than seven entire teams have hit so far. To put that further in perspective, the first Mariner to reach eight homers in 2014 was Kyle Seager…on May 30. Apparently since he doesn’t want to get busted for steroids again, Cruz switched to mainlining Captain America’s Super Soldier Serum.
SuperHeroes, Super Drunk Speaking of the Captain, we’re two weekends away from Avengers: Age of Ultron showing up in theaters and taking everyone’s money, and the film’s superhero cast has already started its victory tour…errr…promotional press tour. Last week all six stars stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live for a round of Family Feud. While Kimmel displays zero knowledge of the game structure of Family Feud (and quite frankly, we expect more from the former host of Win Ben Stein’s Money), the segment manages to be quite entertaining because of how serious certain cast members get and—more to the point—how clearly intoxicated some of them are while playing.
“Basketball” Sure, everyone wants the Seattle SuperSonics back, but always remember it could be worse, Seattle basketball fans. You could be a New York Knicks fan. The once-storied, now comically awful squad received the perfect sendup to its putrid 2014–15 season with this hilarious montage of lowlights set to the brilliantly bad NCAA Tournament tune “One Shining Moment.”
THERE IS Sound in Space Seattle singer-songwriter put out one of the best local releases of 2014 when Barsuk Records reissued his album American Soft. Last week, Staples released a simple and serene music video for one of the record’s best tracks, “Dark Side of the Moon.” The clip features wonderful retro clips of NASA’s journey to the moon and the news footage of those souls stuck back on Earth reacting. It’s nothing flashy, but it nails the song’s tone.
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