No matter what he does this season, no matter how many dingers he hits or how many games he sits out due to injury, Ken Griffey, Jr. will never — not even remotely — inspire a better headline than this:
Forget About Israel For a Minute: Griffey Jr. Is Back In Seattle!
And it gets better. Blogger Aaron Katsman says Seattle’s last-minute offseason acquisition is just the ray of hope that a distressed American populace needs right now: “It’s nice to know that with everything bad that’s happening around the world, and the total lack of anything positive or uplifting coming out of the White House, the return of a baseball great is enough to emotionally jolt a city.” Let’s all join hands and sing “Ken-baya,” Seattle!
Why a blog related to Israeli stocks has written about the Rapidly Aging Former Superstar Kid we may never know. But the fact that it has marks a very important milestone in the circus of adoration and financial fishing disguised as nostalgia that is known as Ken Griffey, Jr.‘s Homecoming: It’s time to pump the brakes on the whole “Junior as Savior” thing, ya’ll. Unless, of course, he puts on a cape, flies to the Middle East, and manages to hammer out an Israeli-Palestinian peace deal, in which case, we’ll go out and buy a Mariners New Era cap (size 7 3/8) and eat it. Promise.
P.S. Big ups go out to Left Field’s spousal unit, who has supplied the Photoshop magic as of late.
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