Eat this, Russell Wilson! It's a John Howie Steak burger!

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Okay, so it never happens. Why go out when you’ve got a league full of mediocre teams to eat for dinner?

But in case it ever does…we got this.

Russell Wilson: We’re pretty sure the humble do-gooder would get along great with John Howie, one of the most genuinely philanthropic restaurant kingpins (Seastar Restaurant and Raw Bar, John Howie Steak) in the Seattle area. Both restaurants are in downtown Bellevue, making them a straight shot across 520 to Wilson’s home-away-from-home, Children’s Hospital. Better yet, we know Wilson likes John Howie Steak; he’s tweeted about the chicken there. (Goes to a steakhouse, orders the chicken. Does this guy’s righteousness know no bounds?)

Marshawn Lynch: The quirkiest workhorse in the league is, well…let’s call him enigmatic, shall we? As such we’d say he pairs supremely well with Matt Dillon, the savant who brought us a restaurant the size of a broom closet (the original Sitka and Spruce), another with nothing for a kitchen but a firepit (Bar Sajor), and a guy who would talk for hours if you’d let him about the miracle of fermentation. We have nothing but the highest regard for these two very special snowflakes.

Richard Sherman. Cocky with good reason. Extraordinarily talented. Whole lotta Y chromosome. Yeah we’re talking about the inimitable Richard Sherman—but all the same could be said of Jason Wilson, holding forth at Miller’s Guild like the alpha caveman amid the flames of his nine-foot-long Grillworks Infierno. Don’t misunderstand: these guys aren’t just testosterone monsters; both have incisive intellects (Wilson’s Crush, Sherman’s Stanford) to level out the swagger. But oh, the swagger…

Kam Chancellor. Can you spell s-c-a-r-y? Around Century Link Field it’s spelled “Kam Chancellor,” that intimidating hard-hitter whose dark face-shield lends him all the folksy congeniality of Darth Vader. If he asked us where he should go for a meal, we’d probably suggest Dixie’s Barbecue in Bellevue, whose hot sauce—dubbed “The Man”—is renowned for its fearsome level of blow-your-head-off spiciness. (Or, you know…not! We're not about to tell you what to do, Mr. Chancellor!)

Pete Carroll. The zen master of football requires a dining experience as serene and as positive as he is…perhaps a place that rings a gong for a moment of thanks before the meal, then partakes only of cruelty-free everything. In short, he requires Sutra, that Wallingford multi-course holiest-of-holies, where vegan food is not only enlightened, it tastes amazing. Plus chef Colin Patterson is a yogi, something we suspect Pete Carroll would like very, very much.


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