1. Amazon Prime Malbec. Aged two days.

2. I-5 Shoulder Blackberry Bramble Wine. A bunch of old car tires makes for a most distinctive terroir.

3. Palouse Slaughterhouse Co. Hereford Red Blend. Some forms of agriculture just don’t mix.

4. Port of Seattle. That's not rust. It's tannins.

5. Death Cabernet for Cutie. Melancholy in the nose, morose in the body, just plain sad in the finish.

6. Ballard Vineyards Brewing Company's Rosé Triple IPA. Note: It might actually be beer.

7. Pullman Potato Wine. Note: It's definitely vodka.

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